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Look Inside

Mary Kouyoumdjian

to open myself, to scream

for clarinet/bass clarinet, C trumpet, violin, cello, contrabass, and prerecorded backing track

(2017)
Duration30'
Movements

i. I dream of living
ii. We were ashamed
iii. In the shadows of a smoking crematorium
iv. Auschwitz is only sleeping

CommissionCommissioned by Music of Remembrance
PremiereMay 21, 2017: Music of Remembrance presents at Illsley Ball Nordstrom Recital Hall at Benaroya Hall; Seattle, WA
Technical requirementsContact the publisher for electronics (info@eamdc.com).

See preview page for audio requirements.

This piece has an optional video component – contact the publisher for more details (info@eamdc.com).
PublisherPSNY

Media

Program Note

to open myself, to scream is a portrait piece on Romani artist, writer, musician, and Holocaust survivor Ceija Stojka. What draws me to Stojka’s work are her themes of longing for the past and coping with the aftermath of unimaginable trauma. As a granddaughter of Armenian genocide survivors, such themes felt familiar to me within my own culture and family history, and these are common themes in other cultures that have and are continuing to experience mass exterminations. I am a firm believer in the arts as a medium for change, and I hope to continue the conversation about how we sympathize with those who experience the unimaginable, and how we can pull from the past to move forward.
 
Each movement is inspired by various paintings of Stojka’s – from her paintings that celebrate her free and vibrant Romani life, to those that explore the horrific experiences she endured during the Holocaust. Composed for mixed ensemble and electronic track, the music often integrates elements of folk music within a contemporary musical language. The ensemble members play amplified with prerecorded samples of themselves – performing in the present while engaging with the past. Inspired by Stojka’s fond memories of her mother, who would calm her with her singing, a distant and intangible voice presents itself throughout the work. The music alternates between polarities of bliss and tragedy, in an effort to understand Stojka’s unique perspective, and draws on imagery related to family, community, nature, the seasons, fear, nakedness, and shame. The piece and movements are titled after Stojka’s own words.

– Mary Kouyoumdjian

Purchase

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Types of Products

Score and part (Digital)

Full Score/Violin Part (Digital)

Full Score/Violin Part (Print)

Conductor Score (Print)

Score and part (Print)

Full Score in 3 volumes (Print)

Choral Booklet (Print)

Choral Booklet (Digital)

Full Score/Performance Score (includes 3 copies) (Print)

Full Score/Performance Score (includes 3 copies) (Digital)

Full Score/Performance Score (2 required for performance) (Print)

Full Score/Performance Score (2 required for performance) (Digital)

Full Score (3 scores needed for performance) (Digital)

Full Score (3 scores needed for performance) (Print)

Parts (Mov. 11 only) (Print)

Full Score (4 needed for performance) (Print)

Choral Score Set - 20 copies (Print)

Full Score/Performance Score (4 required for performance) (Digital)

Chamber Ensemble Score (Print)

Full score and Solo Part (Digital)

Full Score/Performance Score (4 required for performance) (Print)

Piano Reduction and solo parts (Digital)

Choral Score (includes 4 copies) (Print)

Anthology edition (Print)

Choral Score Set - 16 copies (Print)
Includes 8 copies of the soprano/alto part and 8 copies of the tenor/bass part.

Piano/Vocal Score (Digital)

Piano reduction and solo part (Print)

Piano/Vocal Score (Print)

Video and instructions (Digital)

Study Score in Two Volumes (Print)

Score and Parts (Digital)
Score and part PDF files are delivered via email upon receipt. Any electronic files associated with the work are included with every purchase.

Full Score (Digital)
A PDF file of the full score is delivered via email upon receipt.

Soprano/Alto Part (Print)

Tenor/Bass Part (Print)

Full Score (Print)
A print edition of the score ships to the customer's address upon receipt.

Parts (Digital)
A PDF file of the part(s) is delivered via email upon receipt.

Parts (Print)
A print edition of the part(s) ship to the customer's address upon receipt.

Solo Instrument Score (Digital)
A score PDF file is delivered via email upon receipt. Any electronic files associated with the work are included with every purchase. An email containing a link to download the electronic files is sent to the customer's email address.

Full Score/Performance Score (Digital)
The full score serves as a performance score for all players. A score PDF file is delivered via email upon receipt. Any electronic files associated with the work are included with every purchase. An email containing a link to download the electronic files is sent to the customer's email address.

Score and Parts (Print)
A print edition of the score and part(s) ship to the customer's address upon receipt. Any electronic files associated with the work are included with every purchase. The email containing a link to download the electronic files is sent to the customer.

Solo Instrument Score (Print)
A print edition of the score is shipped to the customer's address upon receipt. Any electronic files associated with the work are included with every purchase. An email containing a link to download the electronic files is sent to the customer's email address.

Full Score/Performance Score (Print)
The full score serves as a performance score for all players. Print edition(s) of the full score/performance score are shipped to the customer's address upon receipt. Multiple copies are included if the work has more than one player. Any electronic files associated with the work are included with every purchase.

Choral Score (Digital)
A PDF file of the choral score is delivered via email upon receipt. The set is priced to allow multiple copies of the PDF to be printed for performance by the purchasing organization only.

Study Score (print) (Digital)

Study Score (print) (Print)

Choral Score Set- 8 copies (Print)
Minimum order quantity is 8 copies. Single copies are not available.

SATB choral score (Print)

Vocal Score (Digital)

Vocal Score (Print)

Choral Score (Print)

Full Score and Solo Part (Print)
A print edition of the score and solo part ships to the customer's address upon receipt.

Mezzo-soprano, 2 tenors, baritone score (Print)

Study Score (Print)

Study Score (Digital)

SATB choral score (Digital)

Mezzo-soprano, 2 tenors, baritone score (Digital)